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bearpaw9Daily Kos does a hate mail roundup. This was their fifth and final paragraph. The one that actually made me chuckle more and clench my fists less.
Since I am most certainly an elitist, I would like to repeat it here for your amusement.
(Describes the fundamentals of authentic hate mail. Number ONE was heavy usage of ALL CAPS.)
Number 5)
"Horrible spelling. I don't mean the sort of typos that plague everyone: I mean spelling in sentence after sentence that would make your young child blush. A good hate mail has so many misspellings that you should not be able to tell if the writer was drunk or sober when they wrote it. Forget basic spellchecking, of the sort present on every goddamn computer on the planet: it is a tool of liberalism. Any fool can write a hate mail, but only a genius can convey their thoughts through a dense fog of misspellings, transpositions, missing apostrophes and incorrect tenses.
Which brings us to our final and most important rule of hate mail: all of this must be done while conveying, through all the spelling mistakes, uppercased letters, disproven claims and imaginary enemies, an absolute sense of superiority. An intellect of my caliber, the sender must imply, does not need to bother themselves with mundanities such as proper spelling, grammar, or reality."
Since I am most certainly an elitist, I would like to repeat it here for your amusement.
(Describes the fundamentals of authentic hate mail. Number ONE was heavy usage of ALL CAPS.)
Number 5)
"Horrible spelling. I don't mean the sort of typos that plague everyone: I mean spelling in sentence after sentence that would make your young child blush. A good hate mail has so many misspellings that you should not be able to tell if the writer was drunk or sober when they wrote it. Forget basic spellchecking, of the sort present on every goddamn computer on the planet: it is a tool of liberalism. Any fool can write a hate mail, but only a genius can convey their thoughts through a dense fog of misspellings, transpositions, missing apostrophes and incorrect tenses.
Which brings us to our final and most important rule of hate mail: all of this must be done while conveying, through all the spelling mistakes, uppercased letters, disproven claims and imaginary enemies, an absolute sense of superiority. An intellect of my caliber, the sender must imply, does not need to bother themselves with mundanities such as proper spelling, grammar, or reality."
